Friday, June 01, 2007

Madaraka Dizzay!!!!

As I ride into the Nyayo Staduim in the ceremonial titties-out Land Rover with the the red guts.....white rungu in the air while the masses serve makofi za kilo and the Army Band toots that Presidential Funk....

I know, I know....I'm straight violating with the gross neglect of the blog, but for now I've promised myself less wwwing, more grindin, less new music, more 90's hewas and more sunshine. And it's been hot outside. May is always right, the month when the legs return from hiberbnation.

Many moons ago, courtesy of Half n Half I was tagged. Much obliged sweets.

---I'm self taught in a lot of ways. Taught myself to ride a bike, swim, dj, rap, making beats and production. I never really was anyone's understudy for these and other things. I need to study under a mack though. I kick game to chicks like a punk.

---I'm that jamaa they call the Anti-Flick. If I watch more than 10 new movies this year it'll be a brand new record. Don't even ask me the last time I was in the movie theatre. They already dropped Shrek 3 and Shrek 1 hasn't been seen yet. They just don't make movies edgy enough for me. Good winning over evil every single damn time is boring. As is that rapturous kiss that comes in the finale, and the villain's monologue before he takes the L.

----Few things rankle the kid, but I absolutely can't stand folks who see themselves better than the others. And those judgemental holier than thou I'm going to heaven while you flame in a sulphur diesel pit types. And bredren who will dismiss a skirt coz she's only an A-cup with a low fade like Fabolous. Allergic to all that.


----I have no problem being by myself. When I first hit the exile I never ran into another jamhuribody for over 2 years. Never felt the need to and I wasn't going to force it. Put me on an island with some books and some music and I'm good.


---I consider myself funny and all that, but I can never remember any jokes I've heard or been told to me. This is me: "Sikiza, a Rapper, a priest and an Irish man go to the bar and....wait... It's a Rabbi, A priest and a Polish guy...and then....wait....I'll be right back with more drinks."

---I like knowing all kinds of trivia. Like yesterday, I learned Giant Squid live between 1500 and 3000 feet under the sea. Or the AR-15 rifle was the precursor to the M16, which made it's disastrous debut in Vietnam. Or that none of you really give a frruqk.


----I write better than I talk. Like James Earl Jones or Wahome Mutahi, I was a born stammerer, learned my way out of it, but nothing ever comes out the way I want it to. If I could talk like a comic book character with conversation ballons right above my head I would. And every now and then I still st-st-tutter stutter.

I know I know....Say it, don't spray it. My fault.


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I understand I must say something profound today in celebration. This has always stuck with me. From an old Cappadonna record. Slang Editorial. The very first line he spits.

'I came to a fork in the road and went straight.'

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Happy Madaraka Day to y'all. Stay warm and enjoy Safari Sevens if you are up on the Equator, for those in the heat, warn me ahead of time where the cookout is at. I'm sick with meat on a metal grill over hot coals. And emptying your cooler.


Morale.

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3 comments:

Klara said...

LOL! on Nyayo Stadium!
Hey! Didnt know u r not amovie person! LOL! Am your complete opposite!
Love No. 1 about u, such people get very successful in Life by da way

msaniixl said...

Your seven is looking very piffery...

smh @ you quoting 'taxi driver'...ba ha ha ha

betty said...

fab list and fantastic blog, shame on me for never visiting you earlier!!!